On September 23rd, the Silicon Valley Leadership Group held a voters registration rally at San Jose State University in the 7th street plaza. The purpose of this event was to increase voter awareness of local propositions on the tickets, as well as encourage voting among young people.
The event was co-sponsored by San Jose State University and West Valley Community College, both school's presidents were in attendance. Additional attendees included members of the San Francisco 49ers, local news anchors and state elected officials. Regardless of political views or party affiliation, all in attendance encouraged everyone to head to the polls on November 4th.
The rally began with Hip Hop music being spun by the DJ's of SJSU's radio station 90.5FM KSJS. The music gained attention from students that is when a crowd began to form around the stage. Shortly thereafter, an opening speech was given by the San Jose State University student president, followed by a keynote speech by San Jose Mayor Chuck Reed. Mayor Reed did not endorse any candidate but did stress the importance of voting for local propositions, which are vital to our city. After the Mayor finished his speech, several members of the San Francisco 49ers hit the stage; this gained much interest from the students.
In closing the San Jose State University band played the school fight song, and the California Secretary of State, gave the closing speech. The last election held within our country had a lack of young voters at the polls. This event was put forth through the city of San Jose to reach out to young people. The Silicon Valley Leadership Group provided music such as Hip Hop and gave students the chance to meet local celebrity athletes such as the 49ers. Yet, most importantly, the message within the event was not lost, and many students registered to vote for the first time on this day at the registering booths located around the main stage. Overall, the voters rally was a success due to the fact of the great number of people in attendance and the smooth flow of the events held within the rally.
1 comment:
Sounds like a good event. However, you seem to have forgotten some of the basics of news writing.
You've started with the "when" of the story, instead of the "what" or "who." And you've given me a topic lead (see "Three lazy leads you should usually reconsider" on p. 45 in the Harrower text).
It's sounds like it was a lively event. Did you consider opening this story with a scene-setter lead (see p. 44), perhaps showing the rally starting up with DJs spinning Hip Hop music to draw a crowd. That could make an attention-getting lead. So could a description of the 49ers on stage.
Other problems with this piece:
* No direct quotes. You should quote a minimum of three people per article. The only thing that comes close is a vague paraphrase of something Mayor Reed said. How about quoting the secretary of state? Or the SJSU student president?
* Too much of you telling me stuff, including your opinion. For example, don't you tell me the rally was a success -- quote someone who was there saying that.
* AP style errors: check how to handle dates and numbers
36/50 - I hope you took good notes so you can revise this story.
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