According to San Jose fire Captain Rob Piper, the fire began in the kitchen and spread to the attic as smoke engulfed the entire house. No smoke detector was inside the home
Firefighters pulled Kent out of his home as he was surrounded by flames. Kent suffered third-degree burns and is burned on 50 percent of his body. He was found on the floor unconscious, says Piper. The cause of the fire is under investigation.
2 comments:
Don't start with your lead with the "when" or "where" of a story. Slip that in later in the lead.
You've got a dramatic rescue here, so why downplay it? Tell me in your lead that firefighters rescued a San Jose man (he's not well known, so I'd make this a delayed ID lead) from his burning home, where they found him unconscious on the kitchen floor surrounded by flames.
Then, in your next paragraph, you can identify him and tell me more about the fire, his injuries, etc.
Also, your lead is too long. It should be no more than 30-35 words, and preferably just one sentence.
7-1(late)=6/10
Oops, this one's not late. So that should be 7/10.
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